The following individuals are being drafted

In the wake of recent events it seems that we need to put together a special task force to deal with the ‘zombies’ (and other crazies) crawling out of the woodwork lately.  Just in case you are that odd person who lives under a rock, it seems the Zombie Apocalypse has begun.

It started in Florida where a naked man developed a taste for another man’s face.  From there it jumped to New Jersey.  Okay in the New Jersey case I think the individual was chumming for zombies since he decided to toss his intestines at police.  Now it has made it to the great state of Texas where mother took the phrase ‘I love you so much I could just eat you up’ way too far.

In the interest of public safety we need a team of badasses to put a stop to the madness before it spreads any farther so the following individuals are now drafted for duty:

Sam and Dean Winchester

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Connor and Murphy MacManus

 

 

 

 

 

Ash

 

Richard B Riddick

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You will report to your commanding officer, Daryl Dixon, who by the way will be providing live bait (Carol Peletier) for your upcoming zombie hunt.

 

 

Doomsday is coming…again

When will all these doomsday prophets give it up?  No one knows when it will happen, not even Christ himself.  Do these idiots think that they know better than the Messiah?  Now some unknown little ‘Christian’ group in Miami is telling us June 30th.

Miami-based 666 tattoo cult says world will end on June 30th

Well this time we have a twist.  The world won’t literally end.  All the governments will just fall but only these knuckleheads will survive, and they are all going to turn into X-men on top of it.  God’s going to give them all superpowers!

All I can say is maybe they need to put down the Marvel Comics and pick up a bible some time!  And maybe enjoy this little number from Jesus Christ Superstar.

King Herod’s Song

This is one big chair!

I thought you guys might like to take a gander at the world’s largest Cedar Rocking chair.  If you ever pass through Lipan, Texas make it a point to stop by.

Yes, The sinking of the Titanic actually happened

The other day online I was dumbfounded to see this posted on Tumblr

 

I was praying it was a joke.  People watched the Movie titanic and didn’t know it happened?  That is really sad.

The wreckage of the Titanic

Today happens to be the 100th anniversary of this tragic event that claimed over 1500 lives and many of them needlessly.  The Titanic sank after colliding with an iceberg on it’s maiden voyage.  There was nothing romantic about it what happened that night.   The ship only carried enough lifeboats for a little over half of it’s passengers and many of the available boats were only partially filled.

Maybe these people should turn off the movie and read one of the many well researched books that tell the actual story.

Politically incorrect

For some reason, people seem to think being politically incorrect makes you a racist/bigot or that people who are politically correct can’t be.  I have stuck out all along that Daryl Dixon is not a racist.  He is politically incorrect and blunt too, which seems to be taken as proof that he is a racist.

That’s because people are judging him by his appearance, his family and his speech, not his actions.  He has (and will most likely continue to) go out of his way risking his own ass for every member of the group; white, black, female, old, young.  If people would judge him by his actions they would understand that his is not racist.  He is not a bigot in anyway.

If you want to really know someone’s character watch their actions, don’t listen to their words or look at their appearance.  I have known people so politically correct it makes my ass hurt.  They go to great pains not to say anything that anyone would find offensive, in public; but let them get behind closed doors and the closet bigot comes out.  They may talk a good game but when it came down to it, they were bonafide bigots.

On the other hand you would think someone who flies a rebel flag from there pickup truck is definitely a racist wouldn’t you?  I know someone who does and yes he is politically incorrect in his speech.  This same person who everyone would call a racist will give the shirt off his back to anyone in need regardless of their race; white, black or pink with purple polka dots.

Maybe I’m better at understanding what a racist is because I was exposed to real racism growing up in the south.   I didn’t grow up with this Politically correct garbage that does nothing more than sweep real racism under the rug because people base evaluations on how someone appears or what they say.  Actions mean nothing in the world of political correctness.  If they did people who are  not racist in their actions would be accused of being racist.

You decide who is really the racist

The person who may use ‘colorful’ speech but will help anyone in any way they can,

or

The person who careful to speak and dress ‘correctly’, but when it comes to ‘those people’ won’t lift a finger to help in any way because it ‘those people’.

I’m feeling like Billy Baddass right about now

Once again the myth about everything being bigger in Texas has been debunked.  And I can feel like Ms Badass as a result!

Confession time, I’m terrified of snakes.  When I say terrified I mean to the point that I will swerve to avoid running over one on the road.  I’m afraid that the tire will toss it up into the underbody of the car where it will lay in wait until I open the door and then strike.  I’m even scared to death of dead snakes.  So what does my fear of snakes have to do with myths about the size of things in Texas?

This is a pic I found online. It may be small but I'm still not touching it!

Last night I met the Texas Blind Snake.  I suppose I should tell you that I thought is was a worm.  A weird worm little 5 inch worm, but a worm nonetheless.  Worms don’t bother me.  I fish and like any self-respecting angler I bait my own hook.  I’ve even been known to dig my own worms, so a little worm ain’t nothing to run from.

But this worm just didn’t look right, it clearly had a head.  And the other end was tapered.  One thing I know about worm’s is that when you’re talking your common earthworm, you can’t tell the business end from the other end.  It was also a bit pale for a worm.  Then I noticed how it moved and I started thinking snake.

Now if you don’t know me that well I should tell you that this is the point where I usually scream and run off in any direction away from said snake in search of clean underwear.  Oddly enough I didn’t.  So maybe I was still hanging on to the hope that it was a worm, but I kept my eyes on it just in case.  I think in this case it was the snake trying to hie off in search of clean underwear.  I think it was more terrified of me!

So this morning I just had to know and set about searching for any snake that could possibly have been the culprit and I discovered the Texas Blind Snake.  A nocturnal predator that mainly eats ants and termites.  Adults are usually 5-8 inches in length and tend to end up in chicken bellies since the chickens can’t tell them from worms either! And well yes it probably was looking for clean underwear since it’s method of defense is coil up writhe and smear excrement all over itself.

This is what you call a skilled rider

Motorcycles are a fact of life on streets around the world.  It’s not uncommon to have motorcycle vs car crashes.  Sadly those tend to end very badly for the person on the motorcycle.

That almost happened in San Antonio Monday, but the rider was calm and skilled.  He didn’t lose his head and panic like many would have done.  Instead he accelerated out of the path of the out of control car coming directly at him.

KENS5 Video Motorcyclist avoids out of control car

Motorcycles are cool and yes you look cool riding one.  But never forget the dangers that go hand in hand with riding.

Know the capabilities of your ride and of yourself.  Be alert to dangers you face.  Remember that the drivers in cars may not see you or even respect the fact that you are riding a bike.   Respect the bike yourself, just because you can fit between cars in a traffic jam, doesn’t mean you should squeeze between them.  Never forget that you are not surrounded by a metal cage, you are exposed to whatever may happen.

For those driving cars, my brother used to ride and my nephew rides now.  I learned very young to respect the fact that I’m sharing the roadway with motorcycles.  Don’t crowd a bike, give them some space.  If something happens remember that bike is going down, leaving a person exposed on the ground.  Be alert to the fact that there are stupid riders out there that will do dumb things like ride along the shoulder or squeeze between cars.

Fly the demented skies!

I have never been a big fan of flying.  I’m not scared of flying, I just don’t really think it’s all that but lately I’ve been rethinking my position.  Maybe I should be scared sine it seems that crazy people are taking to the skies.  Passengers and crew!

Yesterday a Jet Blue pilot went off the deep end mid flight.  Now there’s a great confidence booster for passengers! Yes we are aware that the captain spazzed out there, sorry for the inconvenience.  I would never fly that airline again!  I would be too afraid of a repeat performance from the folks who actually hold my safety in their hands at 30,000 feet.

And today it’s the passengers!  A woman attacked a flight attendant on US Airways because the attendant refused to serve her alcohol.  Really? Couldn’t she wait until the plane landed?  Okay cross US Airways off the list too. 

With all the craziness taking place on planes today I’m surely thinking I never want to fly again.  If I do fly; take up drinking, smoking and sniffing glue a week prior to my flight.  Or just book on the airline shown at the right.

And by the way Don’t call me Shirley!!!

Norman Reedus on bullying

Walking Dead star Norman Reedus has a message for us all about bullying.  Please listen and let your kids listen too.  We all need to work together to put an end to bullying once and for all.

Like this post, share and reblog.  Lets all do our part to spread the word.

What is wrong with adults today?

Why is it that adults today can’t keep up with a child?  As if the rash of Chuck E Cheese abandonments wasn’t bad enough, now we have adults accidentally running over children they are responsible for at the car wash!  How in the hell do you accidentally run over a child that you are responsible for by accident?

This is nothing more than negligence pure and simple.   If you are responsible for a child you make sure you know where that child is at all times! Especially a toddler.  If you can’t handle that then you don’t need to take responsibility for the child.

Adults today need to remove their heads from their rear ends and act like adults.  Children are dependent on us to see to their safety and welfare, if you are over 18 and can’t handle it then maybe you are the one who needs the babysitter!  Come on, animals are better parents to their children than a lot of humans today!